We watched Rocky in my english class and it really made me think about how this year has been for me. Okay, we watched it over a span of a few days and in between those days I marathoned Rocky because it’s on Netflix. I’ve watched it before, but that was a long time ago and now that I’m a blossoming young adult, I feel very different about it now. I’m going to just ramble on from here.
In class we talked about how Rocky didn’t win the fight against Apollo Creed, but he still won in his own way. He was a loser, but he was also a winner. I feel like I’ve spent a lot of my time focusing on the fact that I am a loser. I constantly feel let down by the fact I can’t bring myself to “win”/accomplish simple things. I talk (a LOT) about how my biggest problem is lack of motivation and inspiration. It’s the one thing keeping me from making blog posts and drawing and studying and finishing all of my homework and understanding what I’m doing in math. I don’t understand people who are so motivated to go above and beyond. I mean, I do understand it but I wish I understood it. I wish I had the same drive as Rocky had. Watching the movie
I felt like I related to both Rocky and Adrian in a sense that they filled each others gaps. I feel like my biggest problem right now is I don’t have people that fill my gaps and I don’t feel whole. I’m not saying I need a partner in life, I’m just saying I need people that can fill my gaps. I don’t want to rely on other people to be able to function, that’s not what I’m saying at all, I just want people who are able to further my motivations.
I think I’m a loser but it’s not like I’ve been KO’d. I think I’m just slowly trying going the distance. (My opponent is sophomore year.) So, I guess I’m not a loser. (yet) I might just end up like Rocky. I’m not going to win this match but I’m still going to win something.
I don’t think this post makes sense but it’s nice to get everything out there I guess. Hopefully I don’t look or feel as beat up as Rocky did in the end.